30 Things: Day 6

 Hey everybody!  I realize that I have dropped off the map for almost a month.  So sorry about that!  I got busy doing things and once again forgot about writing my blog.  In the future I will try to do better.  At least this time it wasn't six months right?

So, on to today's topic of my challenge (although, it hasn't been 30 consecutive days, I am still planning on making it through all 30.)

Day 6: What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

Wow!  This is an incredibly loaded question.  There are many potential experiences in my life which could most assuredly be categorized as hard but there is one thing that probably trumps them all.  It spans almost 10 years of my life and is still continuing.

When I was in 8th grade, I started having a lot of health issues.  I lost a lot of weight, I was exhausted all the time, I had issues with my intestines, and I felt gross all the time.  As a 14 year old middle school girl, I started undergoing a plethora of tests to figure out what was going on with my body.  Finally, towards the end of my 8th grade year, I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease.  The short explanation of what exactly that means is that I have a disease of my intestines.  It makes them inflamed and my body thinks that something is invading so it attacks them.

I can't even begin to describe all of the hardships that came in relation to my disease.  I missed a lot of school because of issues, I had many embarrassing incidents in public, I could barely make it through every day because I was so tired all the time, and my body couldn't hold nutrients very well so I couldn't gain weight. (The only plus side of the whole thing....I was skinny. :) I was a 14 year old girl and instead of worrying about all of the typical things, I was forced to worry about my health, my abilities, and my future.  There is no cure currently and I wondered if this would be a lifelong problem.  I wondered if I could have kids, what would happen if I did, and whether or not anyone would want me anyway.

I began to see a pediatric specialist in Salt Lake and for the next 6-7 years we worked on finding a regime of medications that would help me to go into remission.  Many of the medications worked at first but then lost their effectiveness.  I am now seeing a doctor in Logan and am doing quite well on my medication.  

As I look back on those years now, I see that all of the physical stumbling stones were hard.....very hard.  However, I see now that the hardest thing about those years was losing the light of the gospel in my life.  Granted, I went to church and things but I did it because I had to.  I was angry and stopped praying and reading scriptures for a while and by the time I felt ready to come back, I had been out of the habit for so long, it has been an uphill climb to get back.  

So yes, this was and is the hardest thing I have ever experience in my life, but now, I have a way to cope and something to lift me in the hard times.  Now, the gospel is the greatest blessing in my life.  It is through the atonement of Jesus Christ that I can make it through my hard times.  I thank Heavenly Father every day for not giving up on me when I had given up on Him and myself.      

30 Things: Day 5

So, I missed a few days.  However, my days were full of fun, laughter, family, and happiness so I don't feel to bad about it.  Speaking of happy things.....here is today's topic!

Day 5: What are 5 things that make you most happy right now?

 

1) Number one is and always will be my amazing family!  I got to spend a lot of the weekend with them and it was such a blast.  We have a great time talking, playing games, and laughing together.  I used to think that I didn't really fit into my family very well, but as I get older, I realize that all of our different personalities fit well together to make a great family.  They make me happy.

2) Music.  I absolutely love music.  Hardly a moment goes by when I am not listening to some sort of music.  Either relaxing soft music, church music, or tunes I can jam out to.  It brings me so much joy to hear notes, harmonies, and tempos working together to make something wonderful.  

3) A fun ward.  Last night for Home Evening, I was reminded once again why I love my ward so much.  We get along so well and have a fun time together.  I got my daily dose of laughter out last night.  So, at the moment, they make me happy.

4) A nice warm house, bed, clothes etc.... I know that this is so materialistic, but I hate the cold.  Going to work this morning reminded me once again how much I don't like winter. But, it made me very happy to come home to heat, comfort, and peace.

5) Books.  All sorts of books.  Children's books, fiction books, old books, new books.  I love them.  I sometimes get to the point where I feel almost like I have a hangover from reading too much.  But, it makes me so happy!      

30 Things: Day 4

 

Day Four: List 10 things you would tell your 16-year old self, if you could (I am just doing my high school self)

 

1) It's important to do well in school, but it is also important to have a social life.  Don't spend all of your time on academic pursuits.  You will be glad you did.

2) Pay more attention in seminary and Young Womens.  The lessons that you learn will be incredibly beneficial to you and you will later in life wish that you had listened more.

3) You won't even talk to many of the people you went to high school with after graduation.  Spend your time making friends that will last and that you will want to keep in contact with.

4) Be more adventurous and outgoing.  Try out for more things, run for councils, and join clubs.  You won't get the experience again.

5) Appreciate your parents more.  They love you, care about you, and want what is best for you.  Keep that in mind.

6) Spend time outside.  Get a view of the world outside your schoolwork and books.

7) Start saving your money now!  You are going to need it.  Life is expensive and the economy is dismal right now.  Save for a rainy day.

8) Try not to sweat the small stuff.  Work on letting the little things slide off your back.  Only allow the most important things take priority in your life. Family, religion, loyalty, friendships, service.  These are the things you should focus on.  The rest will follow.

9) Believe in yourself.  You are stronger than you ever gave yourself credit for.

10) Remember that Heavenly Father loves you and take the time to connect with Him every day.  To lose the connection with Him is the most difficult and painful thing that you could experience.  The trials you are now facing will be much easier to bear with Him helping you.  Don't shut Him out.          

30 things: Day 3

 

Day Three: Describe your relationship with your parents

 

Wow, this is quite the loaded question.  My relationship with each of my parents has evolved quite drastically throughout the years.  When I was younger, I loved my parents deeply but I really didn't see how they could relate to me and the things that I went through. They were just there.  I knew that they cared about me but they were my parents.  They were old for heaven's sake!

Then, when I was about 14, my outlook started to change.  Because of some personal challenges that I started to face I was able to truly see the sacrifice, the love, and the concern that my parents felt for me.  I was able to see everything that they did.  My dad faithfully drove me to doctor's appointments down in Salt Lake often, they helped me with the less than pleasant aspects of my condition, and they allowed me to talk, rant, cry, and rail about my circumstances.  Then, they would offer oounsel and wisdom that invariably helped me pull through to another day.  They became my confidantes, my best friends, and my cheerleaders. 

Now, my relationship with each of my parents is different.  When I was younger, most of the time I would go to my mom to talk.  We connected well and honestly, I saw her more than I did my dad.  I still talk to her often and I love getting advice from her.  

My realationship with my dad was more that of a buddy to do things with when I was younger.  I loved going on daddy daughter dates and playing games with him.  As I have gotten older and matured more though, he has become the person that I most want to talk to when I am struggling with something.  He is always willing to listen, but then he gives such good advice.  I have been so blessed to have a father who holds the priesthood and who can bless my life and my family's life with it.  I think that is why I love talking to him so much.  He is the steward of our family and has been blessed to receive inspiration for each of us.  

All in all, I feel that my relationship with my parents is excellent.  I love them more than words can express I am realizing as I get older how lost I would be without them.     

 

30 Things: Day 2

So, already I have missed a day on my 30 day challenge.  Fortunately, it was only one day instead of 5 months between posts this time.  :)  So, time for day 2!

Day 2: Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

 

1) Going head first into the water: I have a fear of going head first into water.  I can swim just fine, I don't mind deep water, but something about having my head lower than my feet makes me panic.  I honestly don't know when this started or how it came about.  I took swimming lessons when I was young and when I got to the level where I had to dive, I couldn't do it.  I failed that level.  Maybe it's because my body knows that I could drown and that my head is facing the opposite way than where air is.  Either way, I HATE IT!

2) Disappointing people: I have a terrible fear of disappointing people.  It's not really a fear of failing, but more of disappointing people, especially those that I love. Even from my earliest youth, I hated the look that people would give me if they were disappointed in me.  I was especially aware of my parents.  I knew the exact look they would give when I did something wrong.  My mom had a sigh that she would use and it still fills me with guilt if I hear it.  I love people so much that it legitimately scares me to think of disappointing them.

3) Being a parent: I have a fear of being a mother.  Don't get me wrong, I am really looking forward to it and I want children.  However, I feel so completely unprepared.  I am scared that I will be a horrible mother.  Being a parent is a lot of work and I am terrified of messing my children up.  Hopefully that won't be the case, but it doesn't stop me from being scared of it.  

 

30 Things: Day 1

 So, I have been remiss in my blogging as of late.  Well, as of the last few months since my last post that is.  However, one of my resolutions is to improve on that.  I feel like this blog is a way for me to get my feelings down but also share what I feel are the most important things in this life.  Plus, I think it's a great way for people to get to know the real me and what I think and feel.

So, thanks to a friend of mine, I have a new idea I am going to try.  It is called 30 days.  Each day there is a specific prompt that I will answer.  It is just a way for me to get thinking about what to write and hopefully it will provide some entertainment value for you as well.  So, without further ado, the 30 day challenge.

Day 1: List 20 random facts about yourself

1)  I absolutely LOVE steak!  Any time I can get it, that is my dish of choice.  Medium rare and juicy.....YUM! My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

2) I love, love, love listening to music.  However, as my sister can attest, I have the worst memory when it comes to remembering song names or artists.  It's a bit embarrassing.  

3) I have the overwhelming wish to be good at accents.  Which I most definitely am not.

4) I talk to myself a lot.  Usually without meaning to and I have found that the more tired I am, the more I talk to myself.  It's usually just a running commentary on most anything.  I have caught myself talking in public on many occasions.  Some of the looks i got were priceless.

5) I absolutely hate disappointing people.  It's one of my worst fears.

6) Although I am not super talented at everything, I do love to sing and play music on a variety of instruments. 

7) When I was in 1st grade I wanted kids to think I was cool so I told them that I was a black belt in karate.  That one blew up in my face needless to say.

8) I already have names picked out for my future children.  Aiden, Ryder, Oliver, Finn, Lexi, Alice, Olivia.  Granted, I hope that I don't have 7 children, and I might be in trouble if I have more of one gender than I have names, but i am prepared.  :)

9) I used to want to be a police officer when I grew up.  Any one of you that knows me would find that laughable.  My disposition is definitely not one that would do me much good as a cop.  But, I idolized my dad and he is one of the best cops I know, so he was my inspiration.  Now, I just strive to be like him in other way.

10) My emotions are tied to my tear ducts.  Try as I might, most all of my emotions are expressed in tears at one time or another.  Happiness? Yep, I have cried of happiness.  Anger?  I often cry when I am angry.  Full of the spirit?  This is the most common of them all. Embarrassed?  Sure do.  Just be warned.  You might say hello to me one day and start the waterworks.  Just know, it's not you....it's me.

11) I am a complete and total sap.  Books, movies, news stories.  I soak up the happy endings like a sponge and still dream of my own happy ever after.

12) I am enormously uncoordinated when it comes to sports related activities.  My hand eye coordination is geared toward music.

13) I don't know how to drive stick shift but I want to learn so that I can eventually get that camaro that I really want.  I hear they are much better when you get a manual.

14) I would love to get married in the Hawaii temple because it is one of my favorites. It is gorgeous.  However, I don't see that happening. Maybe a honeymoon?

15) I hate swallowing pills.  With a passion.

16) I am a naturally messy person (another habit I am working on) but I do love to organize things.  Something about putting things in an order and making things match etc...brings me joy.

17) Laundry is my least favorite chore.  I would take just about any other work than that.  It is evil and must be destroyed. (A movie quote.  100 points to whoever can name the movie.)

18) I get motion sickness.  So, I hate roller coasters, driving, and airplanes.  If you expect me to do any of the aforementioned activities, you better drug me up with dramamine first.

19) I love reading to the extent that it is almost an addiction.  I come from a family where reading is what we did growing up.  We didn't have video games, we didn't watch a lot of TV, and reading was just what you did for fun.  Besides play outside.  When the last Harry Potter came out I read it in 24 hours.  

20) I want to marry a man just like my dad.  To say that he is my hero would be an understatement.